


Cotton Candy Rosewater

by autumn_daisies



Series: Rewards Card [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst for a second and then fluff again, Baristas, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Not your normal barista au, Shopping Malls, Starbucks, They're also in high school, mute character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 06:09:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20205016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumn_daisies/pseuds/autumn_daisies
Summary: He's wringing his hands, which bend in various impossible positions. He doesn't say anything, just looks at Chenle expectantly, dark eyes shining, so Chenle speaks. "Oh, hey! You're Jisung, right?"He supplies a cautious nod."Cool! My name's Chenle." He expects Jisung to repeat it back, but he doesn't, just offers a smile that's more of a grimace than anything. He looks uncomfortable. Chenle reckons he's never seen a more anxious person in his life.Chenle drinks weird Starbucks drinks, and the cute new barista has absolutely nothing to say to him.





	Cotton Candy Rosewater

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! Thank you for your patience. I finally wrote another part to this series. It isn't necessary to read the Markhyuck fic first, but I think it helps a lot with context. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

"Can I get a venti pumpkin spice iced latte, two extra pumps of pumpkin spice, one pump of vanilla, and four pumps of caramel syrup?" Chenle looks up from his phone determinedly at Jaemin.

"Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure," Chenle answers. Someone on Twitter assured him that this was  _ it _ , the go-to autumn drink, and it's officially October. Not that Chenle doesn't drink weird custom drinks all year round. The secret menu is Chenle's comfort zone - he'd pay for almost anything if it's in a cup with a Starbucks logo. Except Jaemin's coffee abomination, which Chenle  _ has  _ tried. That thing is melted death, and Chenle is not a fan.

Jaemin widens his eyes and exhales as he inputs the order and tells Chenle his total. He swipes his credit card and offers his widest smile. "Can I get a name for that?"

Chenle raises his eyebrows at Jaemin until he writes 'Lele' on the cup and hands it to the other barista. He looks vaguely familiar, but definitely not in this setting. "Who's that?" he asks quietly.

"That's Jisung. He's new," Jaemin explains. Jisung apparently hears his name, because he flinches and looks over at them before offering a delicate smile. He has small eyes and a pointed nose, and warm brown hair that blends nicely into the ambience of the Gardenview food court. Chenle has the overwhelming urge to pinch his cheek.

"He's cute," Chenle giggles.

Jisung definitely hears that one, because he jumps again, and his ears turn red. Chenle feels victorious. "He is," Jaemin agrees animatedly.

Jisung finishes making his drink and hands it to Jaemin. "Pumpkin spice sugar concoction for Lele," Jaemin announces, handing it to him. Chenle smiles and waves goodbye to them both.

It's a Saturday. And Chenle is working. It's a cruel world he lives in, really, since his summer job his parents made him get has extended into a job for his entire senior year of high school. He's apparently supposed to be learning work ethic, but all he's learned is to avoid angry-looking women with children at all costs. Regardless, he still  _ has  _ his job at JCPenney, and he'd be lying if he said he hates it. Gardenview has his friends. And a Starbucks. And he has the employee wifi password. Things could be much worse.

Chenle arrives at his register and flops down on the floor, opening his history textbook. American history has been, and probably always will be, kicking his ass. Chenle's parents are immigrants from China, so he didn't grow up with stories about George Washington implanted in his brain, and remembering all the people and events seems like a pointless endeavor anyways. He'll graduate in May, anyway, and not have to think about history ever again. It's a pleasant thought. (But he still has a test on Monday, and no amount of wishful thinking will make it go away.)

Looking at the textbook is a fruitless endeavor, so he stands and skips his way over to the black tiled Sephora, where Donghyuck has been sweeping up some glittery disaster on the floor. Donghyuck is watching, eyes full of disgust at something, someone. Chenle follows his line of sight to a boy, older than himself but not by much, in washed out jeans and dirty tan-colored Timberlands. Donghyuck always looks at Mark like that, full of pure annoyance, and it's exhausting to watch. Chenle knows they'll end up together. It's inevitable. Donghyuck's grip tightens around the broom handle.

"You should talk to him, Hyuck," Chenle advises.

"Why would I do that?" Donghyuck huffs.

"To resolve whatever your grudge is."

"There is no grudge. And nothing to say to him," Donghyuck lies, because he's a liar, as Chenle knows this. "Do you know where he goes, though?"

Chenle shrugs. "No clue."

Donghyuck slaps the counter beside him. "How long until we open?"

Chenle pulls his phone from his pocket and glances at it. "Two minutes."

"Just tell Yongie I'm late," Donghyuck says, taking swift steps after Mark.

"Are you going to  _ follow him?" _ Chenle whisper-shouts. He thinks this is a stupid idea, but he's not immune to doing stupid things for stupid reasons, either. Plus, Donghyuck will do it regardless of Chenle's advice. 

"Shush! Yes. Don't make it sound creepy. It isn't." It is, but Chenle lets it slide, and ultimately decides to agree. His urge to cause and maintain chaos is greater than any moral compass he may possess, after all.

Taeyong arrives just on time and first sees Chenle sitting on the counter, and then sees the mess of shimmery makeup on the floor. "Chenle."

"Uh-huh?"

"... isn't Donghyuck supposed to be working?"

"He has a, uh…"  _ think, Chenle, think!  _ "Family emergency. He's gonna be late by anywhere from five to thirty minutes."

"I don't believe that for a second," Taeyong deadpans, picking up the broom that Donghyuck had abandoned.

Chenle smiles. "It was worth a shot!"

He bounces back to the cash register and his history textbook.

-

Chenle is working on Sunday, too, but Jaemin isn't, apparently, so the cute boy from yesterday is standing in front of the cash register, instead. He's wringing his hands, which bend in various impossible positions. He doesn't say anything, just looks at Chenle expectantly, dark eyes shining, so Chenle speaks. "Oh, hey! You're Jisung, right?"

He supplies a cautious nod.

"Cool! My name's Chenle." He expects Jisung to repeat it back, but he doesn't, just offers a smile that's more of a grimace than anything. He looks uncomfortable. Chenle reckons he's never seen a more anxious person in his life.

"Alright, so can I get a venti vanilla bean frappuccino, plus two pumps of white mocha, two of pumpkin sauce, and four of vanilla?"

Jisung looks mystified by his order, eyes full of raw curiosity, or maybe it's concern. He taps wordlessly on the register and grabs a cup from the stack. He scribbles a name on it, and Chenle swipes his card. Jisung hurries off to make the drink.

And not one word from him the whole time.

He's hoping he might get to hear him say his name or something when the drink is finished, but Jisung just hands it over wordlessly, expressionlessly. Chenle smiles slightly at him as he takes it.

_ What if he thinks I'm annoying? _

_ Annoying  _ is the most common insult Chenle gets from people. He doesn't take it to heart, and his friends say they're just pressed, but it doesn't stop him from questioning why Jisung was so cold towards him. His observance tells him Jisung is just shy, but the gravelly voice from the back of his brain says he's bothersome.  _ A nuisance.  _ He takes a frustrated drink from his frappuccino. It's not bad.

He takes a glance at the name written on the side of the cup.

_ Lele. _

_ _ And it isn't like Jisung doesn't  _ know  _ his real name, because he  _ just _ told him, so it has to mean something. Maybe he just saw it on his cup yesterday and couldn't spell Chenle. Or it does say Chenle, and Jisung's handwriting is really bad. Chenle is confused by Jisung's actions for sure, but this is enough of a beacon of light that he isn't about to give up on befriending him. Chenle doesn't give up easily, and it'll take more than silence to convince him.

"Maybe you should leave the poor kid alone," Ryujin tells him on Monday during lunch. "He's just trying to do his job."

"I refuse to believe anyone at that mall is  _ just trying to do their job, _ " Chenle mocks in a higher voice. "It's Gardenview."

Ryujin mulls it over before nodding. She takes another bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich before Jeongin sits down next to them. "How do you think you did on the history test?" she asks.

"I think I finessed a B minus," Chenle says thoughtfully.

Jeongin sighs from beside him. "I haven't taken it yet. Is it hard?"

Ryujin shrugs. "Not really."

Chenle scowls. "Yes really!"

"Chenle is trying to blame the world for his own idiocy," Ryujin explains, as if she's a narrator on some nature documentary. Chenle hates his friends sometimes.

"Don't come begging me for help on the chemistry final," Chenle says, holding up a resigned peace sign. Ryujin rolls her eyes.

"You aren't that good at chemistry, either," Jeongin points out.

"No, but Renjun gave me his notes from when he took it last year," Chenle sasses back.

Ryujin goes silent for a few moments. "...can you send me copies?"

Chenle cackles at that, squeaky laugh echoing around the cafeteria. "Well, what's in it for me?"

"My everlasting friendship?" she offers.

Chenle makes a show of standing up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, and turning to walk away. He's about to whip around and return to his seat, laughing it off, when he runs into something. Well, someone.

Chenle laughs awkwardly. "Ah, I'm sorry-"

Expecting the person to apologize also, he looks up to meet their eyes. Chenle is struck with familiarity - squishy cheeks and slightly lightened hair, all topped off with an overwhelmingly anxious expression. "Jisung?"

Jisung's eyes widen comically. He opens his mouth as if he's about to say something before he closes it and scrambles away, long legs carrying him quickly out of the room. Chenle watches him leave.

"Uh, what was that?" Jeongin asks.

"That's the barista! The one who wouldn't talk to me!" Chenle huffs, sitting back down in his chair. "Do you know him?"

Ryujin and Jeongin make eye contact with each other before shaking their heads. "No clue," Ryujin says.

There's thousands of students at their high school, and constant transfers, so it makes sense that Chenle doesn't know everyone. Still, he finds it hard to believe that he didn't notice a boy that cute at some point before.

-

"So you have concluded… that he hates you?" Renjun clarifies. They're both lounging behind the counter of the Panda Express in the food court, Chenle trying to get math homework done before his shift but mostly just venting to Renjun in lazy Mandarin.

"Yes, basically," Chenle says. "I mean, I've tried to talk to him! And he just doesn't react at all."

"Maybe he's just really shy, like you said," Renjun says. He stands to serve a customer, greeting her in English with his normal customer service smile.

"I don't know, maybe it's both?"

"Maybe you should just ask him why he won't talk to you," Renjun suggests.

Chenle sighs heavily, tapping his pencil against his notebook. "Why are you so smart, Junnie?" 

Renjun smiles as he moves to ring up the customer. "I'm Asian. It's a requirement that I'm a genius."

"Okay, but so is  _ Mark,"  _ Chenle points out.

Renjun laughs and the customer walks away with a strange, disdainful look on her face. He turns to look out onto the brightly lit food court before turning back to Chenle. "He's on his shift now," Renjun says, "if you want to go talk to him."

Chenle sighs, stands, and sets his things down on the ground. He brushes imaginary dirt off of his jeans and flashes Renjun a thumbs up before making his way towards the Starbucks.

Jaemin isn't working. Instead, it's Doyoung, who seems to be almost entirely composed of poker faces and hatred for children, Chenle not excluded. He stares blankly at Chenle. "What can I get you?"

Chenle ponders for a bit, tapping his index finger against his chin, before he smiles. "Surprise me." He flicks his eyes over at Jisung, who looks confused.

"...you mean pick a random drink and turn it into an abomination with syrups?" Doyoung asks, voice still empty.

"You got it," Chenle confirms. 

Doyoung taps something into the cash register before he drones, "can I get a name for that?"

"You know my name."

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

"Chenle, the purest and cutest boy on the planet," he says cheekily. He notes that Doyoung doesn't write for nearly long enough before handing the cup off to Jisung.

Jisung doesn't say anything as he hands the cold drink off to Chenle, just offers a fragile smile before ducking back to safety far behind the counter. The first thing Chenle notices after tearing his eyes away from Jisung is that the drink is very,  _ very  _ pink. Fluorescent, almost to the point that it hurts to look at, and he can swear Jisung's shoulders are shaking with laughter. He rolls his eyes as he walks back towards Renjun. He takes a drink.

It tastes a lot less violent than it looks. It tastes like rosewater and strawberry, with an almost overwhelming taste of cotton candy, and Chenle thinks it's  _ amazing _ . He doesn't doubt that there's no coffee in it at all, but it hardly matters. Because Jisung was told to make him something, and he made something that isn't even poison. In fact, it's probably the best "abomination," as Doyoung called it, that he's ever tasted. Renjun is smiling at him fondly.

"I asked for a surprise, and he made me this!" Chenle squeals. Jisung might even be able to hear him, judging by the way his voice echoes, but he doesn't mind. 

"It's very… colorful."

"It's so good," Chenle sighs, taking another drink. "So he probably doesn't hate me!"

"I told you, Lele," Renjun replies, clicking his tongue. "Don't you have a shift to get to, though?" 

Chenle glances at his watch before realizing he's  _ much _ too lazy to read it and checking his phone. "Ugh, you're right," Chenle groaned. "I'll see you later."

Renjun gives him a small wave and he goes.

-

On both Thursday and Friday, Chenle keeps an eye out for Jisung, but there's no trace of him anywhere. Even asking people yields no additional information, like he's a ghost or a figment of Chenle's imagination.  _ That would explain the silent treatment.  _ (Ryujin still insisted that maybe he should "leave the poor kid alone," while Jeongin said he should "go for it". Neither made much sense to Chenle.)

_ _ Friday is the most intolerable day at Gardenview, and, judging by the line as he waits to order his Starbucks, today is no different. He finally reaches the front of the line to see Jisung, all long limbs and squishy cheeks, and his stressed expression flashes into a wide smile before it settles back down. He looks really pretty when he smiles. It's Chenle's opinion, but also the objective truth. He's a man of science.

Jisung bundles his hands together and watches Chenle expectantly. "Hi!"

Chenle figures that has to illicit a response, but it doesn't, just a pained smile. Chenle coughs, trying not to let his disappointment show on his face. "Can you make… that thing you made for me yesterday? If you remember it."

Jisung seems surprised by his order, sucking in a sharp breath before nodding and tapping away at the register. "It was… really good. The drink. What is it?" And that's a question that requires an answer, so hopefully Jisung will give one, but he doesn't. He puts Chenle's payment through and whips around to make the drink, Doyoung quickly resuming his place at the counter. Chenle lets out a slow breath through his nose.

He waits close by the counter, anticipating that Jisung won't tell his name out, and he doesn't. He approaches the counter, electric pink concoction in hand, and offers a tight-lipped smile. Chenle reaches out to take it, and Jisung spins around the cardboard cup sleeve to show an expanse of scribbled black writing. He taps it with a fingernail indicatively, smiles at Chenle again, and scurries towards the opposite end of the limited storefront.

Chenle takes a few steps back before he reads the messy handwriting.

_ Sorry I haven't talked to you :( I don't hate you. I'm mute. _

_ _ And Chenle has never, ever, not even  _ once _ in his entire eighteen-year-old life, felt like such an asshole. The reasonable part of his brain tells him that he's never  _ met  _ a mute person before, so it's reasonable he wouldn't assume it, but he curses himself for being insensitive. He takes a sip of the drink. The cotton candy sweetness fades to a floral taste that sits at the back of his throat.

He lets the drink console him as he sits at the counter, listening to complaint after complaint about  _ coupons  _ and  _ managers _ and  _ will get you fired, you ungrateful teenage delinquent. _ Chenle lets his mind go blank. His Starbucks has long since come to room temperature, but he's still drinking it, chewing on the straw. He considers pretending he can't speak English, but he feels that wouldn't go over well with the entitled white woman in front of him, screaming at him about the absence of her five dollar discount. It's almost closing time, so he drones out a "ma'am, if you would like to continue this, you may come back tomorrow."  _ While I'm not working.  _ But Chenle doesn't say that last part. She swipes her card and huffs as she exits the nearly empty store. Chenle didn't even have time to hand her the receipt, so he just vents as much frustration as he can by crumpling it up. He misses the trash can when he throws it away. He chokes out a laugh.  _ Life is a joke. _

Chenle finally stumbles out from behind the cash register and towards the Sephora, right into Donghyuck's arms. He gives good hugs and always smells like perfume, and he, like many others, thinks he's Chenle's dad. The warmth is comforting. "You good?"

"Twelve. Twelve entitled parents trying to get free stuff and asking to see the manager," Chenle says into his shirt. It may or may not be numerically accurate, but the sentiment remains.

"Shh, shh, I know," he says, petting the back of Chenle's hair. 

"I need a different job," he hears Taeyong say. Donghyuck jokes back and he laughs, but Chenle can't hear because he's about to pass out on the spot. His eyelids are heavy. That drink Jisung made him is probably caffeine free, and it's not doing him any favors. 

"Let's get you home, Lele," Donghyuck says softly. It's almost foreign coming from him, but Chenle doesn't question it.

"His mom always comes to pick him up. She's probably here," Taeyong says. Chenle would  _ totally  _ argue if he wasn't right. Chenle hates driving and will avoid it at all costs, and his mom always offers him rides to and from the mall. He's not one to turn down an offer like that.

Chenle offers a smile at the two of them before gathering his things and leaving through the entrance into the mall.

As he walks past the food court, he notices a familiar figure about ten paces in front of him, with lanky limbs but small strides and warm brown hair. Chenle doesn't think twice before jogging to walk beside him. "Jisung!"

Jisung's eyes go wide before he offers his usual pained, gummy smile. It's adorable, despite how tortured he looks. He waves and mouths a "hi," breathing it out so it's almost a full word.

"I didn't know you were mute," Chenle says, quickly, realizing he now has to make conversation. 

Jisung winces.

"I mean, I really thought you hated me," Chenle jokes.

Jisung shakes his head quickly, and Chenle laughs.

"You should have let me know earlier is all. I don't mind."

He watches Jisung out of the corner of his eye to see him mouth "sorry", accompanied with a fist rubbing against his chest that Chenle recognizes as sign language. There's confusion etched into his face, and Chenle can't place where it comes from, so he doesn't say anything else.

They walk out into the freezing night air and Chenle sees his mother's car glowing in the empty lot. "Bye, Jisung!" he says loudly. "See you soon!"

Jisung looks even more confused, but offers a small wave anyway before Chenle turns and hurries away.

This whole communication thing is going to be rough, Chenle realizes. He doesn't know sign language, aside from the alphabet and a few other things. And talking in Jisung's general direction while he nods or shakes his head hardly seems like  _ friendship. _

_ Well, maybe it's time to learn. _

-

Of course, Chenle doesn't remember what he decided to do on Friday night. He doesn't realize until he comes back to school on Monday and spots Jisung from across the cafeteria.

"Maybe that's why we didn't know him," Ryujin says. "He doesn't talk."

Jeongin shrugs. "Maybe he can't? Do you know, Lele?"

Chenle shakes his head before standing up. "I'm gonna go talk to him," he says, plastering on a big smile. "Wish me luck."

"Don't die," Ryujin deadpans.

Chenle rolls his eyes and makes the journey across the cafeteria. Jisung isn't sitting by himself, but the few other people at the table are involved in conversation with each other and oblivious to Jisung's presence. Chenle takes the seat right next to Jisung. He jumps so violently he almost falls.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."

Jisung just shakes his head and holds up an 'ok' symbol. That heavy look of perplexion is still weighing down his features. He moves his hands to sign something. It's fast, and even if it wasn't, Chenle wouldn't have understood. "Uh, sorry? My sign is… really bad."

Jisung rubs his chest with a closed fist -  _ sorry  _ \- and turns to rifle through his bag. He pulls out a notebook and a pen, and hastily opens to a blank page.

_ Why are you sitting here?  _ he scribbles.

"Because I wanted to talk to you," Chenle answers. "Unless you don't want to, of course."

Jisung shakes his head and pauses before he writes again.

_ No, I do. People just don't try to talk to me much. _

_ _ "Well," Chenle starts. "Maybe they should. You seem really nice. And you made me that drink!"

_ I'm glad you liked it. _

_ _ "I'm glad you didn't make something awful on purpose. That's what Doyoung usually does."

_ It's because you're cute. _

_ _ Chenle barely catches it before he scribbles it out and taps the pen thoughtfully against the paper. Chenle laughs. "You're really cute, too, Jisung."

Jisung lets out a breath of pure  _ anguish _ , grimacing and burying his hands in his hair. Chenle laughs and shakes his head. "I should learn sign language," Chenle says, tapping the notebook with his index finger. "This is kind of inconvenient."

Jisung picks up the pen again.  _ It's a lot of work. You don't have to :) _

_ _ "I want to," Chenle argues. "How do you sign… 'cute'?"

Jisung laughs and his face shifts hues slightly before he brushes two fingers against his chin. He does it again.  _ Cute _ , he mouths. Chenle repeats, but this time pointing to Jisung both before and after the sign.

Jisung shakes his head and points back at Chenle.

Chenle sighs. "How do I say… 'you're a bitch ass liar'?"

_ Language!  _ Jisung mouths emphatically. He smiles, genuinely, without the edge of anxiety, and Chenle feels so delightfully warm inside that he  _ nearly _ doesn't notice Jeongin taking pictures of them from across the cafeteria. He just likes Jisung.

-

"I'm glad you talked to him," Renjun says when Chenle finished his recounting of the last few days' events. "Didn't I say it would help?"

"You always say that," Chenle says, "but I can hardly imagine you doing the same thing."

Renjun huffs, but the furrowing of his eyebrows confirms Chenle's theory. Slowly, his concerning forehead wrinkles flatten out and a small smile stretches across his face. He spins Chenle around almost painfully with a hand on his shoulder.

The first thing that catches his eye is the blindingly pink substance in a plastic Starbucks cup. His eyes then settle on the boy holding it, looking uncertain and unsettled as he makes his way towards the nearly abandoned Panda Express. Chenle offers Jisung a smile.

Jisung hands him the drink, and Chenle very deliberately signs a 'thank you.' It makes Jisung laugh, but he signs back a 'you're welcome', so Chenle considers it a victory. Jisung looks over his shoulder back at the Starbucks before looking back at Chenle. 'Look,' he mouths, pointing.

Upon closer inspection, Chenle can see that Jaemin is quite precariously leaning over the counter to talk to some teenager wearing all black, clearly in some kind of uniform. Chenle's never seen him before, which means he's either new or works in one of the far off corners of Gardenview where no one dares travel.

"Who  _ is _ that?" Chenle asks.

Jisung signs out the spelling. 'J-e-n-o _ . _ '

_ _ Chenle's  _ definitely  _ never heard of him. "Where does he work?"

Jisung shrugs at that. "GameStop," Renjun supplies. "Every time I talk to Jaemin, it's always Jeno this, Jeno that. Super annoying, if you ask me."

"Good thing I didn't ask you," Chenle retorts. Jisung laughs breathily.

Chenle watches absently as Jaemin says something. He can almost feel him winking from across the food court, just out of sheer intuition that comes from knowing Jaemin. And then, before Chenle can really process it, Jeno fucking  _ books _ it out into the mall, footsteps echoing, soon vanishing from view and leaving Jaemin evidently confused, judging by how he turns slowly to return to work. Renjun is laughing harder than Chenle has ever heard him laugh, and he joins in. "I have never seen… anyone… gay panic… so  _ hard,"  _ Renjun struggles out, clutching his stomach.

"That was tragic," Chenle agrees, breathless.

'Sad,' Jisung mouths heavily, managing to pronounce the consonants of the word. 

Chenle doesn't know a lot about being mute, but he knows the stereotypes. A mute person is painfully shy and traumatized, afraid to speak and afraid of people. But Jisung makes  _ noise _ . He gets the closest to speaking he possibly could without using his vocal chords, and, while awkward and nervous, he hardly seems to be afraid of anyone. So,  _ why? _

_ _ But he doesn't figure it's the time to ask the question, because Jisung is trying to express  _ something  _ and all of Chenle's brain power is dedicated to understanding. Jisung signs with one hand, 'J-a-e-m-i-n', then holding his palm up. 'J-e-n-o', he signs with the other (it's impressive, Chenle notes, to be able to sign them mirrored) before holding it out as well. He claps his hands together and then raises his eyebrows at Chenle expectantly.

"We have to get them together," Chenle decodes. Jisung claps celebratorily and nods.

Renjun sighs. "Oh, God."

"Come on, Junnie, it'll be fun!"

"Nope, nope, nope," Renjun counters. "I simply do not care enough, and that Jeno kid is too damn hopeless."

Chenle knows that Renjun doesn't change his mind, so he doesn't try. He just turns to Jisung and holds his fist out. "Project Fix-Jaemin's-Love-Life?"

Jisung bumps their knuckles together and nods. 

"Don't you have a job to do?" Renjun says, pushing Chenle out of the storefront. "Get out of my Panda Express!"

"It's a disgrace upon Chinese food, anyways," Chenle says. He sticks his tongue out for good measure.

"Don't I know it," Renjun sighs.

A Chinese person working at Panda Express is probably the most miserable thing Chenle's ever heard of. Maybe Chenle spends all his time pretending to check in the back for merchandise that doesn't exist, but at least he doesn't get paid to serve the weirdest chow mein ever fathomed. Chenle checks his phone. He actually does have to get to work.

"I'll talk to you later, Jisung," he says, taking quick strides away from the food court. Jisung waves as he goes.

It's been a few days since Chenle first sat at Jisung's table. His sign language has improved by a factor of little to none, but they've gotten closer, and Jisung seems less tense around him. His smiles are much more genuine, and He has seen how Jisung's eyes sparkle when he's signing about something he cares about (like Animal Crossing, music, or Jaemin's demise), even if Chenle can't catch most of what he's saying. He's really trying, he promises, but he's already got two languages fluttering around inside his head. Jisung isn't that great of a teacher, anyways.

When Chenle gets off of work (after only a few hours, thank  _ God) _ , he makes a point to make eye contact with Jisung as he walks past the Starbucks. His eyes go wide and he gestures to Doyoung before leaving to join him. He holds his hands up to sign something, but gives up and grabs Chenle by the wrist.

"Where are we going?"

'J-e-n-o,' Jisung signs.

Chenle jumps to walk next to Jisung instead of awkwardly trailing behind. "I love interfering! What's our mission?"

Jisung shrugs, and Chenle beams.

The GameStop is located off of one of the less populated wings of the mall, where Chenle doesn't venture often, but he does recognize it. He recognizes Jeno, and some miserable-looking boy of about the same age, who's even shorter than Renjun, a feat Chenle hardly knew was achievable. The shorter employee is hunched at the counter, staring at his phone, while Jeno is seemingly reorganizing 3DS games in the corner. Jisung's steps slow down, but Chenle pulls him through the entrance. "Hey, Jeno!"

Jeno jumps and nearly knocks a few games off the shelf in the process. He looks at Chenle with wide eyes.  _ Like a puppy.  _ "Uh, we're about to close, and, uh… wait, how did you know my name?"

"Not here for business," Chenle says, waving his hand and trying to communicate importance. Jeno closes his mouth and listens, so it must have worked. "We're on official… business. Wait."

Jisung winces.

Jeno seems equally confused. Jisung taps Chenle's shoulder to gain his attention and then points at Jeno. He makes a running motion with his fingers. 'Why?' he mouths.

"Ah!" Chenle exclaims. "We both saw you run from Jaemin earlier, and, honestly, it was kind of sad. So, what's up?"

Jeno looks between the two of them before he groans and runs a hand over his face. "I panicked."

'Obviously,' Chenle sees Jisung breathe. He tries not to laugh and inevitably fails, producing some squeaky sound from the back of his throat before his stifles it. 

"Jaemin gets crushes left and right," Chenle says, "but he's super sweet and so all of them hit him too hard. Including this one."

Jeno looks mystified. "He likes me?"

"Uh…" Chenle looks to Jisung, who nods encouragingly. "We are pretty sure. But don't sue me if I'm wrong."

Jisung nods again, satisfied.

"I don't know if I believe that," Jeno says, "but we're closing. You really have to get out."

The shorter boy slams his hand down on the counter, making all three of them flinch. "Shift's over!" he yells, leaping over the counter and sprinting out of the store. His footsteps are thunderous as he runs down the corridor and out of earshot.

"Yangyang," Jeno scolds under his breath.

Chenle feels Jisung pull at his sleeve, but he shakes him off lightly to point at Jeno accusingly. "This isn't over," he says before turning on his heel.

Jisung mouths something he can't make out. Chenle cocks his head to the side and he spells it out. 'D-r-a-m-a-t-i-c.'

"I'm just trying to have fun with it," Chenle says. "I'm not doing this because I care about Jaemin's love life or anything."

'Just fun?' Jisung mouths.

"Yes, but I'm also doing it for the gays," Chenle explains, holding the door for Jisung and walking out to the frozen parking lot.

Jisung snorts.

"Bye, Jisung!"

He waves.

-

Jisung doesn't want to sit with Chenle's friends, and Chenle knows this, because he has offered several times. Each time Jisung has just waved him off. Chenle understands, honestly, Jeongin and Ryujin are loud and often he doesn't want to hang out with them, either, but after about the fourth time he demands and explanation. Jisung sighs and pulls out his notebook.

_ It's not easy to talk to them if they don't know sign. _

_ _ "You do it with me," Chenle pouts. "And we communicate fine."

_ You're special. _

_ _ Chenle's heart falters, and Jisung scrambles to write more words.  _ I'm kind of just shy. I assume you already knew that. _

_ _ "Well, you're mute. It's understandable."

_ That's not why I'm mute. _

_ _ Jisung looks unsettled by the topic, shifting his weight awkwardly in his chair and redirecting his attention to his chocolate milk. Chenle tries the question, anyway. "Why  _ are _ you mute?"

'Long story,' he mouths, but he readies the pen as if he's going to tell it.

'I listen,' Chenle signs. He knows he can talk to Jisung, but signing helps him remember, and it always puts an adorable smile on Jisung's face.

Jisung writes for a while, covering the paper with his hand, before he leans away. His handwriting is messy, but still legible.

_ When I was in second grade, I had a brain tumor. It wasn't as major as it could have been, but it was still pretty bad, and I was on chemo and had to get surgery lol. _

_ _ "...did you  _ write _ lol?" Chenle asks, breaking the silence.

Jisung shrugs, ears tinted red.

_ So, as is, I didn't spend much time at school and didn't have many friends. Not like I have many now, either, but you get it. When they removed the tumor, there were complications, and there was irreparable damage to my cerebrum. My brain doesn't know how to talk anymore, basically. I tried therapy for a while, but it wasn't going anywhere, so I'm just like this. _

_ _ Chenle sat for a bit, processing. "Do you have a cool scar?"

'What?' Jisung breathes, contorting his face.

"From the brain surgery."

Jisung nods. He gingerly takes Chenle hand (an action that absolutely does _not_ make the low hum of butterflies in his stomach fill his ears, not at all) and places it on the side of his head. He pushes Chenle's fingers until he finds the raised scar tissue. It's an arc that stretches a large portion of his skull but is mostly covered by fluffy brown hair, and, as expected, it's _really fuckin' sick_. Chenle tells Jisung so.

'Thank you,' he signs with a laugh. Chenle lets his hand fall back into his lap.

"Thank you for telling me," Chenle says, sincerely. Jisung waves him off and makes a dismissive clicking sound.

"Do you wish you could talk?" Chenle asks. He figures it's worth it to know, and Jisung doesn't seem to be offended by the question. He writes.

_ Sort of. It would be a lot easier for me if I could, and there's not really many great things about being mute. I try not to think about it, though, since I can't change it anyway. _

_ _ "You're very… wise," Chenle says with a laugh.

'Woke,' Jisung mouths.

Chenle laughs, hardly minding that it echoes around the cafeteria. Jisung laughs, too, face scrunched up and the sound is all breath, but it's perhaps the cutest thing Chenle's ever seen. He's become accustomed to the warmth that settles around his chest.

Chenle studies sign language more than he studies anything for school. Sure, he's a senior, and maybe academics should be a higher priority for him, but American high school is a walk in the Axe body spray-scented park, and Jisung's affection is much more compelling than a 4.0 grade point average. Jisung is shy and mute and often panicked, but he's insightful, observant, and has a  _ lot  _ to say for someone who can't say anything at all. He's always communicating with Chenle in exaggerated facial expressions, mouthed words, and nontraditional sign. It's a worthwhile struggle, maybe even amusing. And every breathy laugh that escapes Jisung's lips is a badge of pride that Chenle wears on his chest.

Jisung wasn't lying when he said he had few friends. Chenle has never seen him with anyone at school, and only Jaemin and Doyoung seem to know anything about him at all. His existence is hardly a whisper across the fabric of the general conscience. Jisung is bright and beautiful, but he has more anxiety than a dog on the fourth of July, so Chenle doesn't push him to share it.

And that's why he hasn't made Jisung talk to Ryujin or Jeongin, but, when he walks into the cafeteria on a typically bland Thursday, he thinks it might be for naught. Ryujin's hand is a vice around Jisung's elbow, anchoring him into the spot Chenle generally dictates as his own. Ryujin looks accomplished, while Jisung is searching Chenle's eyes from across the room with a panic-stricken look on his features. 'Help!' he mouths. Chenle hurries over.

"Okay, okay," Chenle says, prying Ryujin's fingers off of Jisung's arm. "Leave the baby alone."

'Not a baby,' Jisung signs once his arm is free. Chenle pokes his nose to get the scowl to fade from his face and shoves Jeongin unceremoniously out of the seat next to Jisung. Jeongin yelps and eyes Chenle suspiciously. Chenle beams at him. He grumbles something Chenle can't catch as he resumes a different chair, next to Ryujin, far away from Chenle.  _ Fair,  _ Chenle thinks.

"Why did you kidnap him?" Chenle asks. He studies Jisung's face for any true signs of discomfort, but he just seems reasonably wary, wringing his hands and tapping his foot. Chenle squeezes his conjoined hands and pretends it's nonchalant.

"You wouldn't let us talk to him," Ryujin answers. "This was the only other option."

"You could have  _ asked him _ ," Jeongin points out. "I was down for friendly conversation."

"That's not how we do things here," Ryujin argues.

"That's not how  _ you two  _ do things here," Jeongin corrects.

'He's right,' Jisung signs. Chenle catches it as well as his friends' confused expressions. Jisung was right about the language barrier. This is going to be a right  _ mess. _

_ _ "Anyway!" Ryujin interrupts, taking a determined bite out of her cafeteria mystery meat sandwich (Jaemin told him it was horse meat last year, and Chenle believed it for months, which is just a testament to how distant it is from actual food). "Why is Park Lamppost over here off limits for your two best friends?"

"I never said we were friends," Chenle huffs.

"Shut up," Jeongin supplies helpfully. Ryujin fistbumps him. Jisung snorts.

"Jisung thinks you're all meanies," Chenle spits out, and there's a humorous amount of genuine anger behind it. Jisung did say he was shy to meet Chenle's friends, and Chenle didn't push it, but right now there's something akin to jealousy bubbling in his organs and under his skin. Jisung is his friend. Not  _ his  _ friend, no, but that's the way his conscience is twisting it, saying he's about to have his best friend stolen by the cutest boy ever (other than Jisung) and one of the prettiest girls in their grade. Not that he owns Jisung or anything, because he's his own person, and he deserves to have friends and be happy. Chenle knows this. But he's angry. Jealous. Totally uncalled for, he tells himself, but he can't stop it.

He's snapped out of his self-pity spiral because of Ryujin's confused muttering. "What is he saying?"

Jisung turns to Chenle, evidently exasperated. He points to Ryujin and Jeongin. 'Not mean,' he signs. 'E-x-t-r-a.'

Chenle snorts. "He says you aren't mean, just extra."

"I can accept that," Ryujin says, settling back in her chair. Jisung signs a quick 'thanks' to Chenle, who waves him off. Jeongin asks Jisung vague, polite questions for the rest of the period, which Jisung answers with nods and shakes of his head as well as Chenle's occasional help. Chenle feels useful. Special. It allows the bubbling in his veins to calm for the time being, until he can unpack why he feels so protective over his and Jisung's newfound friendship.

'Your friends,' Jisung signs, and then signs something Chenle has never seen before.

"What?"

'N-i-c-e,' he spells out, mouthing with it, and then does the sign again. Chenle repeats, and Jisung smiles proudly.

'Your friends are nice,' Jisung signs fully.

"They aren't," Chenle retorts, standing up to head to his next class. "But I'm glad you like them."

'You like your friends,' Jisung signs. 'So, me, too.'

Chenle feels something inside him fizzle like a mouthful of pop rocks, and Jisung smiles like rose petals, and  _ wow,  _ he's cute, and Chenle is totally fucked.

-

"Jeno hates me."

Chenle raises amused eyebrows at Jaemin, watching passively as he flops over the register. "What makes you think that?"

"I tried to talk to him earlier, and-"

"He ran away?" Chenle guesses.

"No," Jaemin cries, unaffected by the interruption. "He said hi back, and then, when I asked him how he is, he said he needs to  _ feed his cat?  _ And  _ then _ he ran right back to work."

Jisung hands Chenle his bright fuschia drink, mouth sealed shut but shoulders shaking with laughter.

"Jeno does  _ not  _ hate you," Chenle assures him, stifling a grin. 

It apparently doesn't convince Jaemin, because he huffs and says, "stop laughing at me!"

"He really doesn't!" Chenle argues. "Right, Jisung?"

Jisung nods. "Ugh, but I have to believe Jisungie. That's not fair," Jaemin drawls, pinching Jisung's cheek hard enough to be concerning if his skin didn't seem to be inhumanly stretchy.  _ Weird. _ Jisung shoves him off and rubs his face with the back of his hand.

"I think you just have to try harder to talk to him," Chenle says. Jisung offers him an enthusiastic thumbs up from behind Jaemin.

"Should I go right now?" Jaemin asks. He looks around the food court. It's ten on a Sunday morning, leaving Gardenview almost abandoned, and Chenle managed to get Taeil to let him go hang out with Jisung for the first portion of his shift, anyway. Chenle figures he could use the entertainment. "Absolutely."

Jaemin unties his apron. "Okay," he says with finality. 

He strolls off and is hardly out of earshot when Chenle leans over the counter and says, "We should follow him."

Jisung nods. 'We should,' he signs. He steps out and leaves the Starbucks abandoned, following Jaemin as stealthily as possible. Jisung's steps are a little too loud, but Jaemin seems none the wiser. They follow him down the corridor and sit themselves down behind the large candy dispensers in the middle of the hallway, several feet from the entrance.

It's clearly not that great of a plan, because Chenle can't hear anything. He peeks over the top of the dispenders and watches Jeno and Jaemin talk. Surprisingly, Jeno doesn't bolt, but he does shift nervously from foot to foot. Jaemin says something that makes him freeze. He says something. Pauses. Says a lot of other words that Chenle assumes are probably unnecessary. He can't see Jaemin's facial expression, but Jeno looks terrified as he moves a few inches closer.

Jisung glances down the hallway. 'We should go,' he signs.

"You're right, he's making it worse. But he can't know we were watching."

Jisung thinks for a second. 'You go,' he signs, and then points towards the end of the hallway, back towards the food court. He holds a hand up to his mouth as if shouting and mouths empathically, 'Jaemin!'

Chenle nods. "Let's go."

Jisung follows him as the creep back out towards the end of the corridor. Jisung nudges him and raises his eyebrows. Chenle takes in a deep breath. "Jaemin!" he yells, much too loud, and Jisung winces against the noise but nods approvingly.

Jaemin scurries out of the GameStop. "What?" he asks, smile wide and blinding, eyes settling on Chenle.

"Don't look at me," he says. "That was Jisung."

Jaemin squints at Chenle. "...are you lying?" He throws his glance to Jisung for a second.

Chenle laughs, high-pitched and squeaky, and it echoes around the space. He grabs Jisung's wrist and runs with him back towards the Starbucks. He can tell from Jisung's breathing that he's laughing, too, and he looks over to see the way his nose scrunches up. He almost trips in his attempts, but it's worth it.

Chenle collects his drink from the counter as Jisung makes his way back to work, Jaemin joining him shortly. "You're both devils," he accuses.

Jisung shakes his head innocently.

"Are you going to tell us how it went?" Chenle pressures. Maybe he's genuinely curious. Maybe he thinks it'll be funny.

"I asked if he likes boys and he said yes," Jaemin says triumphantly, grinning to himself.

"He said yes! A win for the gays!" Chenle cheers, pumping his fist in the air.

'Yay!' Jisung mouths, waving his hands in awkward celebration. Chenle giggles, which makes Jisung stop and rock back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"So," Chenle asks as Jaemin serves a customer. "Do you have any plans for Halloween?" It's Chenle's favorite holiday, and he still passes as young enough (albeit rather tall) to be trick-or-treating under the cover of darkness. With  _ Avengers: Endgame _ coming out months before, almost everyone is going to be dressed as  _ some  _ Marvel character, and Chenle wants so badly to be an exception. But, well, he really likes Marvel.

'No,' Jisung signs. 'I never do H-a-l-l-o-w-e-e-n.'

Chenle nearly chokes on the sweet floral drink. "What? How? Halloween is the best holiday ever!"

Jisung grimaces. 'I can't talk,' he signs simply.

Chenle thinks on that for a few seconds. "Oh," he says. "Well, if you come trick-or-treating with me, I can say 'trick or treat' and you can just mouth it with me!"

He's ready for Jisung to brush it off as absurd, but his eyebrows and the corners of his mouth turn up. 'Really?' he mouths, signing along with it.

"Really. We can even do matching costumes! Do you like The Avengers? If not, I'm afraid we can't be friends anymore."

-

Jisung is cute.

Of course Chenle realizes this, realized it the second he set eyes on him in that Starbucks. Every little twist of his facial expressions or new sign he taught Chenle only solidified this belief, and makes the weird tingling he feels towards him intensify. It's probably more than just a crush on a cute boy, he decides, watching Jisung eat pineapple pieces from a plastic bag with a toothpick as he walks into the JCPenney with Chenle's pink concoction tucked precariously in the crook of his elbow. His cheeks are puffed out as he smiles and waves, nearly dropping everything he's holding in the process. He sets the pineapple down on Chenle's counter before holding out the drink. "Thanks," he struggles out, remembering he should probably talk. Jisung smiles again.  _ God dammit. _

_ _ Chenle busies himself with the straw, though he can't stop the way he scans over Jisung's face, trying to figure out exactly what's different. Because something is different, and he looks adorable.

"Your hair," Chenle realizes aloud. It's a purple-pink rose shade, definitely unnatural but not super loud. Jisung smiles anxiously and runs a hand through it.

'Do you like it?' he signs.

"Yes!" Chenle says, signing at the same time, despite it being unnecessary. "It's so cute!"

'You're cute.'

Chenle gapes at Jisung, and Jisung freezes. That in itself tells him he didn't misread the sign language. Jisung has told him the same thing before, but this feels almost more genuine. "No, you're the cute one," Chenle assures him. In a wave of courage, he reaches up to touch Jisung's newly dyed hair. Jisung leans his head down a little to make it easier, which makes Chenle's heart melt happily in his chest. The strands are soft under his finger tips. "You got this done yesterday?" he asks.

Jisung nods. 

"I really like it," Chenle says. Jisung turns a few shades at the compliment, only making Chenle smile harder. 

"Chenle, you're off work!" Taeil yells. 

Chenle nods and gathers his things. "You heading out, too?" he asks Jisung as he leaves into the mall.

Jisung nods and they walk in silence to the exit, but Chenle can hear the way his bones want to shatter into a million smitten pieces, because Jisung's hand is just a bit too close to his, and he still brings Chenle his custom drink whenever he can, and it makes him feel so warm. The amount of sheet affection he feels for Jisung is inexpressible. He's mute and anxious but Chenle is his friend, despite all the struggles, and it's well worth it.

-

Jisung isn't at lunch on Tuesday. Chenle texts him a few times in succession, curious and worried, and apparently Ryujin can tell. "Ugh, can babyface come back? I think Lele's about to pop a blood vessel," she says to no one in particular.

"I'm just worried. Maybe he's sick," Chenle says. His texts haven't been read yet.

"I'm sure it's not that serious," Jeongin assures him. "Maybe he's skipping class."

"I wish he brought me with him," Ryujin whines.

"He doesn't even  _ like  _ you," Chenle argues. And, because desperate times call for desperate measures, he opens a different text conversation.

**jaemin**

yo do you know what's up

with jisung?

he isn't here

i'm just worried

oh, yeah, his mom called

in and told doyoung he's

in the hospital. :(

_ What the fuck. What the fuck.  _ Chenle's mind races through a billion possibilities and all of them come up worst-case scenario.

WHAT.

jaemin what's wrong with him

please respond

i don't know :(

sorry lele

_ He had brain cancer _ . And if it's back, it could mean horrible things for Jisung. He doesn't want to jump to conclusions, but his thoughts move on their own accord. "He's in the hospital," Chenle says, standing up.

"What? What happened?" Jeongin asks.

"I don't know," he answers. He picks up his bag and throws it on over his shoulder.

"And where the  _ fuck  _ do you think you're going?" Ryujin interrupts.

"To find him."

"Can you think rationally about this?" she asks, placing a hand on his shoulder. The thing is, he  _ can't,  _ his brain won't stop saying that Jisung's in pain, that something is terribly wrong. Ryujin's voice is distant but present. "You don't know where he is. You don't know if you're allowed to see him. You don't even know what's wrong. There is no reason for you to run around every hospital in the city on a Tuesday afternoon looking for him."

Chenle breathes out slowly through his nose. She's right. Painfully, painfully right. He wouldn't even know where to go. He checks his phone again.

**jisungie uwu**

jisung, where you at lol

are you not at school?

i'm kinda worried..

text me back when you can.

His phone vibrates in his hand.

**Unknown Number**

Hello, Chenle! This is

Jisung's mom. I got your

number from Jisung's phone.

He's at the hospital and he

wants you to come visit

him, if possible!

Attached to the message is a location.

"Nevermind, bitches," Chenle says, tightening his grip on his backpack strap. He taps a few buttons on his phone before holding it up to his ear. "Mom? Can you call me out from school? It's important… why should you let me? I got an A on that history test… yes! Thank you. Yeah, I drove myself today… thank you!"

He hangs up. He would be snarky about getting out of school early, but he's worried out his mind.

"Chenle Zhong, please come to the office," the intercom drones just a handful of seconds later, butchering his name. Chenle leaves the cafeteria without another word.

Chenle is a terrible driver, and he hates driving. He doesn't have to confidence to speed to the address Jisung's mom gave him, so instead he focuses on getting there in one piece. There's a bit of traffic, given that it's lunch time, but Chenle hardly has a regard for other drivers, anyway. He parks haphazardly, but still in his space, and rushes into the emergency room entrance. The entire time, his thoughts are only of  _ Jisung Jisung Jisung _ , and whatever put him in the hospital. He'd fight it. Chenle would  _ fight  _ cancer with his bare hands if it dared touch Jisung again.

In the waiting room, there's a handful of anxious-looking parents, a young woman, a tearful old man, and a handful of children with various injuries. One of them is bleeding quite spectacularly through a gash in her chin, though she seems totally unphased. Chenle scans over all of them before his eyes sit on an Asian woman, around forty, with dark brown hair and the same plush lips as Jisung that probably stretch into the same gummy smile. When she makes eye contact with him, his suspicions are confirmed. Chenle takes a few steps towards her. "You must be Zhong Chenle," she says warmly. She has a thin accent, presumably Korean, judging by Jisung's name.

"Hello, Mrs. Park." He bows a little (thanks, Asian parenting), and she laughs.

"Jisung tells me a lot about you," she says as she leads him down a hallway. Chenle notices she's wearing all navy hospital scrubs.

"Really?"

She laughs again. "Thank you for giving him a chance. He's a good kid, but he doesn't have many friends."

"He's-"  _ amazing. The cutest boy I've ever seen. Smart and funny and beautiful and everything good a person could be.  _ "a really good friend. It's my pleasure."

Mrs. Park smiles appreciatively.

"Do you… work here?"

"In this hospital, yes. Not in the emergency room, though. I work in the child cancer ward."

Chenle's breath hitches in his throat. "That must be hard," he says.

"I didn't work there before Jisung was diagnosed," she explains, "but I saw how much of a difference it can make."

Chenle is doubly worried now, feeling as if he might explode, but Mrs. Park opens the door to a room and Jisung is lying on a hospital bed, staring at the ceiling, right wrist in a cast. Jisung notices him and grins. 'Chenle!' he mouths.

Chenle is so relieved that he feels the nervous tears building up in his eyes hit his cheeks. Jisung's eyes widen and Chenle runs to collapse into his chest, arms around his waist. "Jisung, I… I assumed the worst, and I'm so glad you're okay, ugh, no one told me what happened! You are okay, right?"

Jisung laughs dryly and pats Chenle's hair with his undamaged hand to get him to look up. Jisung just nods, and Chenle can feel his nose brush against his own. He backs up instinctively to stand next to the bed, trying not to think about how close they just were. "What  _ happened?" _

_ _ Jisung gestures to his mother, who's standing at the front of the bed. "Jisung fell off his skateboard basically as soon as he got out of the driveway this morning," she says with a fond shake of her head. "Fractured his wrist when he hit the ground."

Chenle waves both of his hands frantically. "Wait, wait, wait. You can skateboard?"

Jisung nods, rubbing at the back of neck with his hand. 

"Also, don't you drive to school?" Chenle asks.

Jisung opens his mouth, but closes it as Mrs. Park starts speaking. "He thought that his skateboarding skills might impress a certain  _ someone _ -"

Jisung slams his hand down against the stiff mattress and glares daggers at his mom. Chenle laughs along with her. "I have to get back to work, kiddo," she says, walking to ruffle Jisung's hair. "I'll be back in a bit when they release you."

Jisung nods, and signs a quick 'I love you' as she leaves. She signs it back.

"So," Chenle says after the door closes. "Can't use your right hand now?"

Jisung shakes his head miserably. 'Can't write. Can't type. Can't sign,' he signs, struggling to communicate the words with just his left hand. Chenle gets it, though.

"We still managed to talk when I hardly knew any sign," Chenle comforts. He places a hand over Jisung's cast-clad one. "I think we'll be able to manage like this, right?"

Jisung nods, a smile pulling at his features. 'What about school?'

"Education is overrated, anyways."

Jisung is silent for a few moments before he signs something Chenle doesn't recognize.

"Huh?"

Jisung spells it out and signs it again. 'W-o-r-r-i-e-d. Were you worried?'

Chenle laughs. "Yeah, I was. Jaemin told me you were in the hospital, and I didn't know what happened. I just assumed it was cancer again. If someone told me you just fractured your wrist, maybe I wouldn't have made my mom call me out of school."

'Sorry,' Jisung signs, and he looks like he means it. Something in his eyes is deep and different.

Before long, a doctor comes in the room to tell Jisung he's okay to leave. Mrs. Park returns to sign a sizable stack of paperwork to finish up the visit, and Jisung is given a handful of instructions to take care of his cast (the most important one being  _ no more skateboarding). _

"Alright, Jisung. I'll drive you back home."

"Actually," Chenle says, a thousand light bulbs turning on in his head. "I can drive him back? I have a free period right now, anyways." That second thing is a total lie, but Chenle isn't concerned about it.  _ Any period is a free period if you don't go to class.  _ He figures they could get lunch and waste some time until school was over. He already got called out, and he wasn't rushing to head back anytime soon.

'No,' Jisung signs, standing up. There's a trace of dejection on his face. Regret, maybe. Whatever it is, it's sad, and it makes Chenle's heart hurt. His mom shoots him an understanding smile and they leave.

Chenle is confused.  _ Majorly  _ confused. He texts Jisung to let him know when he's home, and, in his perplexion, drives straight to his own house and flops down in bed with his face buried in the pillows. He can't shake the underlying feeling of  _ I fucked up.  _ What even happened?

He told Jisung he was worried, and he got all sad, and then went home. And he still isn't answering Chenle's texts, even though he can see now they've been read. He writes a few more, asking Jisung to 'please tell me if I did anything to upset you', just for them to be read and ignored. Chenle throws his phone out of sight.

There's a clear course of action here. Chenle is no stranger to his outgoing personality and occasional lack of filter making people upset, so he knows the supposed remedy.

Number one is to ask, and ask again, texts and in person, to weasel an answer out of him in any way he can manage. Best case scenario, it goes like the time Jaemin was mad at him for stealing his parkins space - he'll find his persistence endearing and immediately forgive him. Worst case scenario, it's like the time Renjun nearly broke his nose on "accident". Not that he did anything to bother Renjun that time. It's just usually the worst case scenario for all situations.

So Chenle will just hope that Jisung shows up to school tomorrow.

-

Show up Jisung does. Chenle can see him through the crowds in the hallway right after the first bell rings, a tall pastel head in the sea of students. "Jisung!"

Chenle swears he sees his shoulders tense, but it's gone as soon as it appears and he keeps walking away. "Jisung!"

He pushes his was apologetically through the students and grabs onto his sleeve. "Jisung."

Jisung turns to look at him, and there's nothing on his face but hurt. "What did I do?"

Jisung shakes his head and tries to walk away, but Chenle just follows him down the hallway. "Please, tell me," Chenle urges. Jisung's strides are longer than his, so he's almost jogging to keep up. 

Jisung shakes his head, staring at the ground, and Chenle pushes his way to stand in front of him. He stops walking. "Jisung. Tell me what I did. I'll do whatever I can to fix it."

Jisung looks up, face tensed, and signs quickly, 'it's not you.' He pushes past Chenle before he can react and disappears into a classroom.

Chenle is confused, and also late for class.

'It's not you' is almost always code for 'it's definitely you'. So Chenle feels even guiltier now.  _ Unless  _ Jisung did mean it, because he does seem to be the level of awkward and self-questioning to blame himself for something that isn't his fault. Jisung has probably never hurt anything in his life, other than Chenle's feelings. And his own bones. So whatever he's avoiding him for is either due to Chenle's token "annoying" personality or a plot of manipulation involving Jisung's entire family and a supervillain. Unfortunately, one seems a lot more likely, and it doesn't involve Chenle developing super strength.

So, Chenle's annoying and Jisung doesn't want to talk to him anymore. It feels so much like being back at square one, except Chenle knows Jisung now, and knows what he's missing.

"You gonna tell us why you're pouting and why baby lamppost isn't here?" Ryujin asks, breaking the awkward silence.

Jeongin sighs. "Ryujin-"

"No, actually, I would not fucking like to tell you," Chenle spits before he can  _ think _ a second and realize he isn't helping anything. He hasn't even really completed step one of the protocol. "Sorry."

"Can you tell us, though?" Jeongin asks. "I'm kind of worried."

"I don't know. For whatever reason, he's not talking to me right now," Chenle says. "He's fine though. Just a fractured wrist."

Ryujin takes in a breath and uses a voice almost too soft for her personality. "Did you do anything to upset him?"

"That's the thing. I asked him about it, and he said it's him and not me." Chenle takes a spiteful stab at his blasphemous cafeteria orange chicken. "That means he thinks I'm annoying."

Ryujin rolls her eyes. "Okay, yeah, you can be kind of annoying. But I have never seen  _ anyone  _ more amused by you than Jisung. He laughs at everything you do as hard as a mute kid physically could."

Jeongin nods. "Yeah, no offense, Lele, but that's definitely not it."

"Then what is it?" Chenle asks.

Ryujin shrugs. "You could ask him that."

"I tried."

"Try harder. You're Zhong Chenle. Why not actually be as annoying as you seem to think you are?"

It's terrible advice, but Chenle takes it to heart and shows up at Starbucks when he knows Jisung is working (courtesy of Jaemin's intel) and stares him down over the cash register. Jisung meets his gaze for a second, his own eyes dark and sparkling, before he punches in the order. He doesn't ask. Chenle swipes his card.

The violently colored drink he hands him over the counter has 'Chenle' written on it in indifferent script. It's the exact same as it always is, but the aftertaste is like metal. He looks up to try to catch Jisung's eye, but there's nothing to see, nothing left. Jisung refuses to acknowledge anything has happened, that they were friends, that they were even sometimes more than platonic. Chenle feels his gaze on him when he walks away, but it could just be wishful thinking. There's sorrow pushing at the back of his esophagus that he forces himself to swallow down.

Ultimately, Chenle has no other option but to move on to step two: ask Sicheng.

Sicheng is Chenle's cousin or something, related to him by a combination of blood and very close friendships among people they've both never met. He's older by a handful of years and is, unsurprisingly, a lot smarter. He gives excellent advice despite the fact most of his time is spent holed up in his apartment watching MasterChef. And, because the world is a small place and any given college town is even smaller, Sicheng works at the Gardenview Subway outside the food court. (Not the one  _ in _ the food court. That's a different Subway. The food court Subway is staffed, among others, by Ten and Johnny Seo. Chenle doesn't trust it.)

So, Chenle marches out of sight and picks up his phone.  _ There's no time for texting. It's a fire situation. _

_ _ "Hey, Lele. What's up?"

"Hi, Sicheng. Are you working? Like, now? Or soon? I kind of need to talk to you."

Sicheng sighs. "You only call me when something is wrong."

"Just. Please?"

Sicheng pauses. "You can come by the apartment. Drive yourself, though, I don't need your mother's questions."

-

Sicheng's apartment is totally average looking. His furniture is all on the nicer side, light gray and white with surprisingly little staining, and the television mounted on the wall can only be described as  _ excessive,  _ but the rooms themselves are small, with dingy beige paint and unimpressive hardwood floors. Sicheng is lying on his couch in sweatpants and a t-shirt, watching some cooking show, and he doesn't flinch when Chenle accidentally slams the door behind him. "You really should lock that," he advises.

"I am not against being murdered in my sleep," Sicheng says, moving to sit up on the couch. His hair is sticking out in a few different directions, but he makes no attempt to fix it. Chenle sits beside him, sinking into the couch and slouching down. "So, what's up?"

So Chenle tells him about Jisung, about the drinks and the breathy laughs and the days in the cafeteria. He tells him about the skateboard and the hospital and his  _ feelings _ , of which there are many. Chenle should be ashamed to talk about it, but he hasn't told anyone all of it, not even Renjun. It feels good to let the words pour out of his mouth. Sicheng listens blandly, but his expression softens with every word. "Chenle. I think you told me the answer to your own question."

Chenle waits for his mind to connect the dots. It doesn't. "Can you maybe be more specific?"

"When you went to the hospital, Jisung and you were clearly still on good terms. In fact, you were fine until you expressed to Jisung how worried you were about him."

Chenle sits up a little. "Okay? Does he think I'm too clingy? That's what I just told you was going on."

Sicheng shakes his head. "No, Chenle. I really don't think he was lying when he said it's him and not you."

Chenle sits. Thinks. Focuses his eyes and ears on the steady drone of the television. "He feels bad that he worried me?"

Sicheng smiles sadly and places a hand on Chenle's knee. "He feels like a burden because of it, probably has felt like one since you met. He doesn't see why you'd go through the trouble of befriending him when all he's been is an inconvenience."

"But he's not!" Chenle sputters, sitting up more. "Sure, it's not  _ easy  _ to communicate with him, but I do it because I want to. I worry about him because he's… he's my  _ friend _ , and I care about him. I also really wanna hold his giant hand or something, but that's neither here nor there."

"You need to tell him that, not me."

"How? He won't talk to me in person. He won't answer my texts. I even  _ emailed _ him late last night, just in case."

"So you're following the protocol I advised. This is your step two," Sicheng muses.

Chenle nods miserably.

"Do you remember step three?"

Chenle has never needed step three before. Usually Sicheng's advice provides him the clarity to revert to step one. "Uh, no."

"Step three is adult intervention."

Chenle groans. "How is that supposed to help? Y'all dusty."

Sicheng places a palm to his chest, offended, before he laughs it off. "I  _ meant  _ you go to his parents. They'll make him talk to you."

"You're… a genius," Chenle says, already standing up and pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Thank you!" he calls as he exits the apartment and slams the door, but this time on purpose.

**jisung's mother figure**

hello, mrs. park, i was just

wondering if you could send

me your address? i want

to surprise jisung tomorrow

It's not a lie. This will be a surprise, because Chenle is about to show up to Jisung's house totally uninvited. Actually, he's been the  _ opposite _ of invited. Basically urged not to come.

Mrs. Park replies with the address and a few heart emojis, and informs him that Jisung isn't working tomorrow so he'll most likely be home. Chenle  _ almost  _ feels bad for taking advantage of her kindness, but Sicheng told him to, and it did work.  _ It's for the greater good. _

_ _ He doesn't tell Ryujin or Jeongin, lest they try to talk him out of it. Still, he almost talks  _ himself  _ out of it after making eye contact with Jisung in the hallway and seeing him turn away, corners of his mouth turned down. Chenle feels almost like Jisung is worse off than he would be if Chenle left him alone.

And maybe that's true. Maybe Chenle really is the nuisance in Jisung's quiet life that he fears he is, and Jisung doesn't want anything to do with him anymore. Maybe Chenle is too loud, too much, too persistent, but he owes it to himself and his feelings to pry an explanation out of Jisung's hands if it's the last thing he ever does.

Chenle shows up to the Park household with a pint of ice cream and more anxiety than he knows what to do with. He steps out of his car and walks up the stairs, plastering a smile on his face out of instinct. It makes him feel marginally better. He knocks.

Nothing happens for a few seconds before Chenle can hear the distinct sound of heavy socked footsteps on wooden floors. The jangling of the doorknob makes him want to run back to his car, even though it's much too late. He's already committed. 

Jisung looks stunned, hand frozen on the doorknob, eyes locked with Chenle's own.

"...I brought ice cream." Chenle holds up the plastic bag in his hand. "Please tell me what's wrong."

Jisung takes in a breath, holding it, watching. Chenle is ready for him to slam the door, to turn around with a feeble shake of his head. Instead, Jisung nods and steps out of the entryway.

Jisung's house is typical. The walls are eggshell, and the floors are a medium wood tone. There's a carpeted staircase up to the second floor and a white kitchen attached to a living room with a worn-in brown couch and large windows. There are pictures of Jisung and his family hung up on some of the walls, and almost every surface holds a different scented candle. A few are burning on the dented coffee table.

Jisung gestures to the couch so Chenle sits down, and soon he returns with two spoons, taking the ice cream from Chenle. (It's some chocolate brownie thing. He figured it would be the best for apologies.) Jisung manhandles the lid off and takes a large spoonful into his mouth. "I, uh. You've been avoiding me."

Jisung doesn't react to that. He digs around a large piece of brownie. "I know you have been. Don't lie."

He feels almost sick with relief from seeing Jisung again, but heavy from the conversation. When Jisung offers him the ice cream carton, he refuses. 'Yeah. I did,' Jisung signs.

"Oh." Chenle knows this, obviously. It still hurts. "Is it because I'm annoying? It's nothing I haven't heard before, so it's really okay."

'You're not annoying,' Jisung signs, and his face shows how appalled he is by the notion. 'You're a really good friend. Too good.'

_ Sicheng is always right. _ Chenle pushes himself not to come to conclusions. Jisung will tell him himself.

"I just miss you, Jisung." It isn't hard to say. It's the feeling that's been weighing him down for days, and now it feels like he's finally shrugged it off.

Jisung's eyes widen, but he quickly shifts his gaze from Chenle to the ice cream again. 'You want to be friends with me?'

"What kind of question is that?" Chenle asks, tone soft. "Of course I do. Jisung, you're the best friend anyone could ever ask for."

'But I'm mute,' he signs, dejected. 'There's no way.'

"It doesn't matter." Chenle places a hand on Jisung's knee, hoping it isn't awkward. It kind of is. "People should try for you."

'I'm just… too much, though,' Jisung signs. 'Too much work.'

Chenle takes a few seconds to chorale his thoughts into coherent sentences. "Nobody is easy to be friends with. Ryujin and Jeongin are my best friends, and even they were a lot of work?"

'How?' Jisung has a small smile playing on his features. Chenle takes the ice cream and digs his spoon in.

"It took Ryujin  _ months  _ to stop being so mean to me all the time," Chenle vents, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. "With Jeongin it was the opposite - he was way too nice at the start."

Jisung breathes out a nervous laugh, stifling it with a cough. 'Do you really think that?'

Chenle's heart aches. "Of course I do."

'It's not too much work?'

"Never. I'd learn a dozen languages if I had to."

Jisung giggles, breathy, smile wide but eyes shining with relief. 'Thanks.'

"Promise me you won't avoid me anymore. That was, like, the worst few days of my life." It's not too far from the truth.

Jisung nods, and Chenle hugs him, awkwardly because of how they're sitting on the couch, but both of their smiles are sincere when they pull away.

-

Halloween is Chenle's favorite holiday. Maybe almost everyone else out trick-or-treating is dressed as some Marvel character, but Chenle wasn't  _ giving up his dream, god dammit,  _ so he has his Captain America shield strapped proudly to his arm. Despite Chenle's suggestion for him to dress as Iron Man, Jisung is going as Ant-Man (because "despite the scientific inaccuracies, he is a relatable character and has the coolest superpower ever," as Jisung explained over text).

'I'm scared.'

The house in front of them is tricked out in orange fairy lights and ghost decorations, and there's a small girl at the door dressed as a princess asking for candy from the middle-aged woman at the door. Chenle smiles and nudges him. "It'll be fine! Please?"

Jisung takes in a deep breath, puffing his cheeks out, before exhaling slowly. He holds up an 'ok' symbol and Chenle tugs him by the hand towards the front porch.

"Do you want to knock?"

Jisung shakes his head. Luckily, the door opens before Chenle even touches it. He feels Jisung tense beside him.

"Trick-or-treat!" Chenle exclaims, plastering on a smile. 

The woman behind the door looks between the two of them. "Oh, so we got… Captain America and… Ant-Man! Wow, that's cool! You two are really tall to be trick-or-treating," she notices.

Chenle laughs it off, and she gives them their candy.

"See?" Chenle says, skipping down the sidewalk to the next house. "That wasn't so bad."

Jisung seems entirely unconvinced.

But, as they knock on more doors, a grin materializes on Jisung's face, glowing under the streetlights. Chenle has to keep his own breathing in check so he doesn't coo over him or something even worse. Still, there's a content buzzing underneath his skin, and his heart grows lighter as the bag in his fist grows heavier. Chenle stands behind Jisung at a house decorated in large inflatable pumpkins to yell while the other mouths 'trick-or-treat.' They scurry away laughing, hands clutching stomachs.

Jisung rubs his hands together and blows into them, giggles still playing on his lips. It's freezing outside. The adrenaline has kept Chenle warm, but it's probably not cutting it anymore since the sun has fully set. He covers Jisung's hands with his own. 

"Are you having fun?" he asks quietly.

Jisung nods. A kid screams, and Chenle turns to see him running from a man in an inflatable dinosaur costume. He laughs.

'Best Halloween ever,' Jisung mouths, and Chenle watches, taking in each syllable.

It'd be easy to kiss him, and he does want to. His fears about Jisung's own reaction are dampened by the way he freezes and leans in closer by a fraction of a millimeter, his breath ghosting over Chenle's nose.

Another scream.

Chenle rolls his eyes and steps backs. "Two more houses on this street and then we'll head back home?"

Jisung sighs audibly before he agrees.

Chenle knows trick-or-treating. He knows which houses give out full sized candy bars, which ones offer nothing but Raisinets, and which ones will turn away anyone who looks older than twelve (not that Chenle always falls into that category). This street is the best for quantity  _ and  _ quality, and famous for the last house on the block.

It's larger than the others, though in the same style, and all the main lights are off inside, with rainbow colors flicking across the windows instead. Chenle knocks on the door confidently.

A teenage boy, probably younger than both of them, opens the door and looks at them blankly. "Ah, trick-or-treaters. Wait… Chenle?"

Chenle has never seen this boy before in his life.

"Yep, that's me!"

The teenager reaches for a bowl of candy, showing an arrangement of Kit-Kats and Twix bars, all full-sized.  _ Score.  _ "Listen, I'm just trying to go back to the party, and you and your friend or whatever seem cool. Just take the rest of it."

Chenle doesn't argue and just lets the boy split the candy among them. "See you around!" the boy calls before closing the door.

'Wow,' Jisung breathes into the air.

Chenle grins. "And that's how you do it," he gloats. Jisung snorts and shoulders him to the side, knocking him into the railing around the porch. Chenle acts fast enough to pull him along.

Jisung is laughing, breathy and scented like the Skittles he ate while they were walking up the driveway. Chenle leans up to kiss his forehead, actually landing it on his eyebrow since he moved too fast.

Jisung freezes. Chenle searches his face. It is uncharacteristically blank. Jisung always makes a point to show his emotions, because he can't  _ say  _ them, but now there's nothing.

"Uh, can you react, or something? You're freaking me out," Chenle mumbles, letting his hands rest by his side.

Jisung nods quickly and smiles. He leans forward to press a much more comfortable kiss on Chenle's hair.

"Good?"

'Good.'

Chenle places his hands on either side of Jisung's neck to tug him down and press a strong kiss to his cheek, and Jisung's breath hitches. 'Eek,' he breathes simply.

"Still good?" Chenle asks again.

Jisung removes his hands from his face and places them on Chenle's instead, tugging him forwards and landing a kiss on his bottom lip. Chenle giggles before he adjusts, holding Jisung's wrists with his own hands and rubbing circles with his thumbs. Jisung moves just enough to kiss back. 

Chenle pulls away, pressing his cheek into Jisung's palm, and looks at him. His cheeks are flushed and he's meeting Chenle's eyes with curiosity, wonder, something star-struck and stellar and magical. There's an aftertaste of sugar on Chenle's lips and a delicate floral note that's much harder to place. They both laugh into the silence between them.

'Good?' Jisung signs, holding his hands just in front of Chenle's face. They're shaking.

"I like you." It's easy to say, sweet against Chenle's tongue.

There's a fraction of a smirk pulling at Jisung's lip. 'I love you 3000,' he signs. 

Chenle  _ cackles _ and pushes him so he stumbles down the porch steps. "You nerd!"

Jisung laughs at him, grabbing his hand and pulling him down the stairs as well. Chenle follows him as they skip down the driveway, relishing in the way their footsteps echo across the emptying streets and how Jisung's breathy laughter fills his ears. Jisung can't talk, but he's loud and bright, with words that taste like sugar and roses, feelings that Chenle can sense pulsing in their conjoined palms.

They eat their way through the Twix bars while lying on Jisung's bedroom floor, sharing lazy kisses that leave Chenle's stomach swooping in his chest. Or maybe it's the candy. Chenle falls asleep with Jisung's chin on the top of his head, their limbs pressed together, listening to their heartbeats, the heater, and the drone of cicadas. Even now, it isn't silent.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't proofread this, for the record. It's probably a mess. I hope you enjoyed regardless, and that you'll leave kudos and maybe a comment? It always helps! I'm on twitter @renjundaisy if you want to talk to me, as well.
> 
> Until next time!


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